On the days I can't seem to help worrying about what's ahead . . .
26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Matthew 6:26
Monday, January 16, 2017
Monday Morning Musings. When I Worry about the Future
On the days I can't seem to help worrying about what's ahead . . .
26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Friday, June 17, 2016
Facebook Fridays. (A weekly round up)
Often life is so busy that I don't get time to write full blog posts but
I do post smaller blurbs on Facebook and Instagram. Since one of the
reason's I started blogging in the first place was to have an online
journal of family life, I've decided to have Facebook Friday's here on
the blog. It will be a place to gather my weekly social media posts together and make them easier to look back on. Some weeks you my even
get the 'Directors Cut/Extended Version of those posts!
I'm going to be spending the next few days cooking and baking to get ready for Amelia's baptism on Sunday. I hope you all have a blessed weekend.
After a difficult battle with cancer, one fought with dignity, grace and the sure knowledge of God's steadfast promises, the Lord called home my dear father-in-law (Corky Veldkamp) in the early hours of Friday morning.
So many of you have been keeping him in your thoughts and prayers. It has been a true comfort to all of us. We are so thankful to experience the communion of saints in this way.
17. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4: 17-18
Because sometimes you just need a sweet baby pic . . .
We laid Henry's dad to rest yesterday. We had a beautiful service with a consoling message, Olivia's lovely voice and music from a packed church that brought me to tears.
It was a time for family and friends to take comfort from God's promises and each other.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct you paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
Dad is in his heavenly home now but before he left he met one last great grandchild . . .
I'm sharing about the day Amelia was born over on the blog today.
It's been a challenging week but, with God's help, in the company of family and friends and lifted up in prayer by those far and near, we have been comforted and strengthened.
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 New International Version (NIV)
***
June 11:
After a difficult battle with cancer, one fought with dignity, grace and the sure knowledge of God's steadfast promises, the Lord called home my dear father-in-law (Corky Veldkamp) in the early hours of Friday morning.
So many of you have been keeping him in your thoughts and prayers. It has been a true comfort to all of us. We are so thankful to experience the communion of saints in this way.
17. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4: 17-18
June 14:
Because sometimes you just need a sweet baby pic . . .
June 15:
We laid Henry's dad to rest yesterday. We had a beautiful service with a consoling message, Olivia's lovely voice and music from a packed church that brought me to tears.
It was a time for family and friends to take comfort from God's promises and each other.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct you paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
Dad is in his heavenly home now but before he left he met one last great grandchild . . .
I'm sharing about the day Amelia was born over on the blog today.
***
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 New International Version (NIV)
Thursday, June 16, 2016
The Day Amelia was Born.
It was 6 am. As one does, I grabbed my phone to see what might have gone on during the night.
A text from Morgan, and I had missed it!
Kim's water had broken and they were on the way to the hospital. I texted him back and discovered they were already checked in.
I threw some clothes on and asked if I could bring them anything. "Coffee and oatmeal from Tim Horton's please!"
Off I went, filled with excitement and joy. My first grandchild was on the way! I prayed all the way to the hospital.
After a quick hello to Morgan and Kim as I dropped things off, I went downstairs to sit with my father-in-law for a while before I went back home. He had been waking up less and less over the last few days. Henry's youngest brother Colin was already there, keeping his dad company. We chatted quietly while his dad slept on.
Time to head home. I needed to pick my mother-in-law up from her quarterly chemo treatment. I packed my bag with the quilt I was working on, a book, some snacks and . . . at the last minute . . . my small point and shoot camera. I didn't expect anything with the baby any time soon, things were in the very early stages. But, something said, take a camera.
I picked up Henry's mom and brought her home. We had a lovely, peaceful lunch and sat out on the deck until we were ready to get back to the hospital to sit with dad for the afternoon. Just before leaving the house I got another text from Morgan. Things were moving fast! It looked as though the baby might be born that afternoon.
Mom and I quilted and knitted while dad slept, both of us excited at the thought that a new baby was about to join the family.
And then the text . . . .'Amelia Rose had been born at 1:30 that afternoon.'
Such joy.
I had to go home, but came back to sit with mom and dad. (And hoped I might be able to sneak a peak at my new granddaughter . . .) Colin had come while I was out and his dad had woken a bit when he got there. While he slept again, Colin, his mom and I visited.
A nurse pulled aside the curtain hiding the hallway from view.
There was Morgan with baby Amelia!
He took her out of the bassinet and put her in his grandma's arms.
"Cor! Wake up! The baby's here! Morgan's baby is here!"
As mom leaned over his bed with the baby, dad woke up. And he was there. Truly present in that moment. With a big smile he reached out and touched that sweet, new life. His ninth great grandchild. After a few words to mom and then Morgan, making sure that both Kim and the baby were alright, he fell back asleep, still smiling.
There were tears that day. Tears of sorrow, yes, but mostly tears of joy as we witnessed this beautiful meeting. One of God's children came into the world as another was preparing to leave it.
God is good.
We are thrilled to welcome Amelia Rose Veldkamp into our family. She is a rich blessing from the Lord.
Henry and I went back later that evening for a proper visit with Morgan, Kim and Amelia. And this time I brought my big camera!
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb…my frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place” (Psalm 139: 13, 15).
A text from Morgan, and I had missed it!
Kim's water had broken and they were on the way to the hospital. I texted him back and discovered they were already checked in.
I threw some clothes on and asked if I could bring them anything. "Coffee and oatmeal from Tim Horton's please!"
Off I went, filled with excitement and joy. My first grandchild was on the way! I prayed all the way to the hospital.
After a quick hello to Morgan and Kim as I dropped things off, I went downstairs to sit with my father-in-law for a while before I went back home. He had been waking up less and less over the last few days. Henry's youngest brother Colin was already there, keeping his dad company. We chatted quietly while his dad slept on.
Time to head home. I needed to pick my mother-in-law up from her quarterly chemo treatment. I packed my bag with the quilt I was working on, a book, some snacks and . . . at the last minute . . . my small point and shoot camera. I didn't expect anything with the baby any time soon, things were in the very early stages. But, something said, take a camera.
I picked up Henry's mom and brought her home. We had a lovely, peaceful lunch and sat out on the deck until we were ready to get back to the hospital to sit with dad for the afternoon. Just before leaving the house I got another text from Morgan. Things were moving fast! It looked as though the baby might be born that afternoon.
Mom and I quilted and knitted while dad slept, both of us excited at the thought that a new baby was about to join the family.
And then the text . . . .'Amelia Rose had been born at 1:30 that afternoon.'
Such joy.
I had to go home, but came back to sit with mom and dad. (And hoped I might be able to sneak a peak at my new granddaughter . . .) Colin had come while I was out and his dad had woken a bit when he got there. While he slept again, Colin, his mom and I visited.
A nurse pulled aside the curtain hiding the hallway from view.
There was Morgan with baby Amelia!
He took her out of the bassinet and put her in his grandma's arms.
"Cor! Wake up! The baby's here! Morgan's baby is here!"
As mom leaned over his bed with the baby, dad woke up. And he was there. Truly present in that moment. With a big smile he reached out and touched that sweet, new life. His ninth great grandchild. After a few words to mom and then Morgan, making sure that both Kim and the baby were alright, he fell back asleep, still smiling.
There were tears that day. Tears of sorrow, yes, but mostly tears of joy as we witnessed this beautiful meeting. One of God's children came into the world as another was preparing to leave it.
God is good.
John 14:1-4 “Let
not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my
Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you
that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place
for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am
you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.”
We are thrilled to welcome Amelia Rose Veldkamp into our family. She is a rich blessing from the Lord.
Henry and I went back later that evening for a proper visit with Morgan, Kim and Amelia. And this time I brought my big camera!
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb…my frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place” (Psalm 139: 13, 15).
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
Out of Surgery and a Thank You . . .
I'm finding peace in the small details of God's creation today.
There's something about macro photography and the act of looking for beauty in the smallest bits of God's creation. There's a sense of wonder and astonishment that God cares for things down to the tiniest detail.
Nothing is so small that it would escape his notice.
Psalm 95:4-5
4
In his hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him.
5
The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land.
Dad came out of surgery and, although it took him awhile to recover from the anesthesia, and a few, not unexpected, things came up afterwards, he had a relatively comfortable night last night. We are still waiting to hear how the surgery itself went. He was in an observation room overnight and will likely spend the day there as well.
I wanted to thank everyone for your sweet comments and prayers. They are a huge comfort and encouragement to us all.
Monday, January 4, 2016
Sweet Surprises
Don't you love it when, out of the blue, something beautiful shows up?
Looking up in your rear view mirror as the sun sets with an orange glow that throws leafless trees in dark relief. Hoar frost that causes the world to shimmer magically on your chilly morning walk.
Late last fall these delicate sweet peas were uncovered in the back garden by my friend Denise, when she was tidying it up for me. It was a challenging time, my shingles still hanging on, leaving me in a fair bit of pain, exhausted and unable to get much work done.
And then she brought me these . . .
Later, in my greenhouse, camera in hand, tears sprang into my eyes as I fluffed and faffed with these pretty little flowers. There are always sweet surprises, if you look for them . . .
They are personal surprises, bits of beauty that speak straight to your heart, reminding you that God isn't a distant, vague Father who cares about you in the abstract. He knows you intimately and goes out of his way to remind you of that. All we have to do is keep our eyes, and hearts, open to see it.
That's what these sweet peas were to me. A tiny bit of unexpected loveliness in a hard time. A reminder that, in the end, God triumphs over all.
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
Melenoma. It's been three years . . . Annual test results are in . . .
Most days I don't think about it all that much. My leg, while it will never be what it was, gets me where I want to go and even lets me garden on my knees these days. When my camera is in my hands I don't even think about my leg, even if I'm photographing a wedding for hours on end. It still acts up after I've been really busy, but I've been blessed by the fact that I can set my own schedule. I know that after a busy day on my feet I will spend the next day doing much quieter things. I'll hang out in my chair with my leg up and read books or watch video lessons on various aspects of photography. (On extra special days, I'll do 'research' for my fantasy digital pieces by watching The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings. Ahem . . .)
But these last few summers, as I get close to the time to have my annual x-ray, ultrasound and blood tests, I find myself feeling . . . a little uncomfortable. Kind of like there's a low level buzzing going on. I don't actually realize what's happening, I just feel like everything is just a bit too busy, too noisy, too out of control. I become overwhelmed much more quickly and peace gets harder to find.
Then it's time to take the tests and I wrap myself in God's promises as I visit the labs.
My melanoma doctor is wonderful. You know how normally when your doctor orders tests they don't call you unless there's something wrong? 'No news is good news'? My doctor's belief is 'No news is no news.' His office always phones with test results! Mine is good news once again. No sign of cancer recurring anywhere.
And then I realize where that discomfort and overwhelm came from. And that, for another six months I can let it go. (My check ups are every six months. Full on tests are once a year.)
This year, as I've been taking my Photoshop Artistry course I found my self creating things that showed how I felt, even though I didn't really acknowledge where those feelings were coming from.
It's oddly comforting. I made this piece after the news really sunk in . . .
Life is vibrant and filled with hope.
I had made it originally to match several others I had been working on and it love the 'quieter' version as well but, something about the beautiful vibrancy, light and texture in the first one really appeals to me today.
 |
| Version one |
I find it interesting to see the differences in what I made.
It's becoming clearer everyday that this is going to be an ongoing journey. I will never get rid of those 'uncomfortable, everything's too . . .' times in my life becuase we are still living 'in the world' with all the hardship and sorrow that sometimes brings.
And that's okay. Because no matter how I feel, or what's going on around me, I know where my help comes from. That peace, and the joy that comes with it, are enough.
Psalm 121
A song of ascents.
1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Starting The New Year Out Right.
Normally at this time of year, I go into list making mode.
I start decluttering, reorganizing, menu planning.
The menu planning doesn't usually last past week two but the huge pile of cookbooks I bring home from the library and pile beside my chair help me keep up the delusion that this is the year to get ahead of the whole . . . supper comes every day thing . . .
I do a massive spring cleaning in January because I know come spring I'll be outside and I won't come back in until October sometime. (November if I'm lucky)
I have a list of house projects and a list of garden projects and a list of new things to learn.
Of course I know I'll be lucky to get even a fraction of each list done but I like feeling as though I know where I'm going and how I plan to get there.
This year, for the first time in my adult life, there are no lists.
I have no idea where I am going or how I might get there.
I don't even pretend to think I know what tomorrow is going to look like.
The thing that's odd about that???
I'm actually kind of relieved.
I am going into this new year with the certain knowledge that each day is a gift.
And what that gift will hold when I unwrap it each day is going to be a surprise . . . and beyond my control.
Does that mean I think it will be a happy, skip with joy from one day to the next, kind of year?
Not at all.
My days right now are a struggle as I work hard on sitting in my chair each day, getting up only to go to the bathroom in hopes that my drain will slow down once and for all.
Yesterday? That worked.
Today? Not so much. It seems my state of mind has something to do with it as well.
Yesterday? Happily hanging out, reading my book and visiting with Ev who dropped by.
29 ml at the 24 hour mark. Yes!! One ml below the target.
Today? Anxious all day, worrying about what a trip to my doctor's will do to my drain's fluid count.
Thankfully I was able to postpone the appointment Only got up to load the dishwasher and make boxed scalloped potatoes to go with the roast chickens Henry brought home.
57 ml at the 24 hour mark. Nearly double what it needs to be before they will take the drain out.
I need there to be no more than 30 ml in 24 hours two days in a row.
It seems I not only have to sit perfectly still all day, I also have to be happy while doing it!
Am I getting frustrated?
Absolutely. The thing is though, I also know that the drain will come out at the very second it should, according to God's plan. Not a second early or a second late.
God's timing is perfect.
And that's the joy I am bringing into the new year.
Not that everyday is going to be fabulous, or interesting, or even just okay. But everyday will bring anew God's plan for me and I am looking forward to finding out what that plan might be.
It was my hope to blog everyday but until this drain comes out and I have the whole fluid thing under some kind of control, that might not be possible.
So I let go. I choose to meet each day with the steady joy of knowing that God is in control and he has a plan for me and that plan will be worked for my good.
My sister Tamara posted a few verses on Facebook the other day and they struck me as the perfect verses to take into the year ahead. . .
"22 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; 23 they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:22-23
What I can do to ring in the New year???
Take a trip to Home Depot with Holly and brighten the house with these. . .
I start decluttering, reorganizing, menu planning.
The menu planning doesn't usually last past week two but the huge pile of cookbooks I bring home from the library and pile beside my chair help me keep up the delusion that this is the year to get ahead of the whole . . . supper comes every day thing . . .
I do a massive spring cleaning in January because I know come spring I'll be outside and I won't come back in until October sometime. (November if I'm lucky)
I have a list of house projects and a list of garden projects and a list of new things to learn.
Of course I know I'll be lucky to get even a fraction of each list done but I like feeling as though I know where I'm going and how I plan to get there.
This year, for the first time in my adult life, there are no lists.
I have no idea where I am going or how I might get there.
I don't even pretend to think I know what tomorrow is going to look like.
The thing that's odd about that???
I'm actually kind of relieved.
I am going into this new year with the certain knowledge that each day is a gift.
And what that gift will hold when I unwrap it each day is going to be a surprise . . . and beyond my control.
Does that mean I think it will be a happy, skip with joy from one day to the next, kind of year?
Not at all.
My days right now are a struggle as I work hard on sitting in my chair each day, getting up only to go to the bathroom in hopes that my drain will slow down once and for all.
Yesterday? That worked.
Today? Not so much. It seems my state of mind has something to do with it as well.
Yesterday? Happily hanging out, reading my book and visiting with Ev who dropped by.
29 ml at the 24 hour mark. Yes!! One ml below the target.
Today? Anxious all day, worrying about what a trip to my doctor's will do to my drain's fluid count.
Thankfully I was able to postpone the appointment Only got up to load the dishwasher and make boxed scalloped potatoes to go with the roast chickens Henry brought home.
57 ml at the 24 hour mark. Nearly double what it needs to be before they will take the drain out.
I need there to be no more than 30 ml in 24 hours two days in a row.
It seems I not only have to sit perfectly still all day, I also have to be happy while doing it!
Am I getting frustrated?
Absolutely. The thing is though, I also know that the drain will come out at the very second it should, according to God's plan. Not a second early or a second late.
God's timing is perfect.
And that's the joy I am bringing into the new year.
Not that everyday is going to be fabulous, or interesting, or even just okay. But everyday will bring anew God's plan for me and I am looking forward to finding out what that plan might be.
It was my hope to blog everyday but until this drain comes out and I have the whole fluid thing under some kind of control, that might not be possible.
So I let go. I choose to meet each day with the steady joy of knowing that God is in control and he has a plan for me and that plan will be worked for my good.
My sister Tamara posted a few verses on Facebook the other day and they struck me as the perfect verses to take into the year ahead. . .
"22 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; 23 they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:22-23
What I can do to ring in the New year???
Take a trip to Home Depot with Holly and brighten the house with these. . .
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Encouragement From Some Readers. . .
I have been having a pity party all weekend and Monday wasn't looking a whole lot better. Not for any large reasons just. . . dealing with the healing process.
The thing is, although I was told what recovery after surgery would possibly be like and I did all I could to prepare, what I didn't realize was. . . Deep down all I was really focusing on was whether they would find more cancer and what that would mean. . .
Being told I was cancer free was such a relief. . . and then the reality of recovering set in.
And it turns out that that was a lot scarier than I thought it would be.
And I haven't even had complications set in.
Just odd, painful, unexpected things that are part of a normal recovery.
My nurse visited today and told me I was healing very well. . . She thought I would likely even have my stitches and drain removed next week!
Stitches. . . maybe. Drain. . . not for another month according to the surgeon.
So why was I sobbing like a baby in the shower this morning???
The nurse suggested that was a bit like a relief valve, and, I must admit I felt a lot better after my shower and her visit.
I decided to do something productive. All the beautiful flowers I had gotten in the hospital were looking rather tired. Just throwing them out wasn't an option, so I picked out any flowers that still looked fresh, found them new vases and spread them around the house to brighten as many spaces as possible.
Then Rebecca came by for the afternoon and we crocheted like little old ladies until supper time.
The day just kept getting better. The mailman brought a beautiful handmade card form one of my readers ( my cousin Chris) and she had enclosed a magnet with a very timely poem on it. ( And Chris? No need to feel stalkerish. . .I hardly ever comment either. . . ;D )
And to end the day?
Another lovely reader sent me this poem as encouragement. . .
STEP BY STEP
He does not lead me year by year,
Nor even day by day;
But step by step my path unfolds,
My Lord directs my way.
Tomorrow’s plans I do not know;
I only know this minute.
But He will say, “This is the way,
By faith now walk ye in it.”
And I am glad that it is so,
Today’s enough to bear,
And when tomorrow comes, His grace
Shall far exceed its care.
What need to worry then, or fret?
The God Who gave His Son
Holds all my moments in His hand
And gives them one by one.
Author unknown
Thank you Cecile!!
Tomorrow is going to be an even better day.
The thing is, although I was told what recovery after surgery would possibly be like and I did all I could to prepare, what I didn't realize was. . . Deep down all I was really focusing on was whether they would find more cancer and what that would mean. . .
Being told I was cancer free was such a relief. . . and then the reality of recovering set in.
And it turns out that that was a lot scarier than I thought it would be.
And I haven't even had complications set in.
Just odd, painful, unexpected things that are part of a normal recovery.
My nurse visited today and told me I was healing very well. . . She thought I would likely even have my stitches and drain removed next week!
Stitches. . . maybe. Drain. . . not for another month according to the surgeon.
So why was I sobbing like a baby in the shower this morning???
The nurse suggested that was a bit like a relief valve, and, I must admit I felt a lot better after my shower and her visit.
I decided to do something productive. All the beautiful flowers I had gotten in the hospital were looking rather tired. Just throwing them out wasn't an option, so I picked out any flowers that still looked fresh, found them new vases and spread them around the house to brighten as many spaces as possible.
Then Rebecca came by for the afternoon and we crocheted like little old ladies until supper time.
The day just kept getting better. The mailman brought a beautiful handmade card form one of my readers ( my cousin Chris) and she had enclosed a magnet with a very timely poem on it. ( And Chris? No need to feel stalkerish. . .I hardly ever comment either. . . ;D )
And to end the day?
Another lovely reader sent me this poem as encouragement. . .
STEP BY STEP
He does not lead me year by year,
Nor even day by day;
But step by step my path unfolds,
My Lord directs my way.
Tomorrow’s plans I do not know;
I only know this minute.
But He will say, “This is the way,
By faith now walk ye in it.”
And I am glad that it is so,
Today’s enough to bear,
And when tomorrow comes, His grace
Shall far exceed its care.
What need to worry then, or fret?
The God Who gave His Son
Holds all my moments in His hand
And gives them one by one.
Author unknown
Thank you Cecile!!
Tomorrow is going to be an even better day.
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