Monday Morning Musings. When I Worry about the Future

On the days I can't seem to help worrying about what's ahead . . .

²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 

Matthew 6:26

In Search of the Perfect Cinnamon Bun

I love bread. All kind of bread.

 Unless it's filled with whole grains and it's good for you . . . Then, not so much.

If it's made with white flour, and butter and eggs happen to be involved, I know I'm going to love it. I am not a third generation baker for nothing . . .

I've been making bread for years and over time I began to make a simple cinnamon bun as a treat, using some of my bread dough. They are pretty yummy.

But . . . by no stretch of the imagination can they be called the perfect cinnamon bun!

And that's what I began to crave.

Jesse's idea of a perfect cinnamon bun would be a Cinnabon cinnamon bun. I find them too spicy. I like my cinnamon in moderation. In Henry and Jesse's opinion, it's too moderate . . . To them, my idea of moderate is their idea of bland.

And so, the search for the perfect cinnamon bun recipe began . . .

My first stop is chef Michael Smith's cinnamon roll recipe. He starts with sweet dough which I haven't done up until now. People . . . he uses 2 tablespoons of vanilla and a stick of butter! How could you go wrong with that?? And just to note: I always use butter when I bake, never margarine. It's more expensive for sure, but I figure if I'm going to take the time to bake I may as well use the good stuff. (that said, when my kids were little and I went through a lot of baking I used margarine and saved the butter for special occasions)

Chef Michael's recipe is a little involved, and it takes longer than my bread recipe, but oh my, is it worth it! So, so yummy!

I did tweak his recipe a bit though. He used an icing glaze on his rolls but, since I'm in search of the perfect rolls, I substituted my own recipe for butter icing. And yes, I use real butter in that too. ;D

You can find chef Michael's recipe here: cinnamon rolls

And this is my recipe for Butter Icing:

 Rosa's Butter Icing
1 cup softened butter
2 2/3 cups icing sugar
1-2 teaspoons pure vanilla (to taste)
2-3 tablespoons milk or unwhipped (35%) cream

Beat butter til nicely softened. Add in icing sugar, vanilla and milk. Mix until icing sugar is incorporated.  Beat 3-5 minutes on high. Icing gets light and fluffy and increases in volume. (Of course if, like me, you go off to work on a new fantasy piece on your computer and then lose all sense of time, you will come back to overly warm, rather thin icing. Still yummy, but not perfect.) *The one pictured is just about right though.

Enjoy! We sure did . . .

Do you have a better recipe? Is it your idea of the perfect cinnamon bun?? I'd love to try it out if you're willing to share.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programing . . .

Shingles!

Some how, even though you've had your birthday party and know in your head just how old you are, you never really believe that you, yes you, really are, middle aged.

I certainly don't feel as though I'm any older than, say, 35 . . .

Which means, even though you had fully intended to get the shingles vaccine when you turned 50, and your 50th birthday came and went . . . in your heart you're still in your 30s and there's lots of time for vaccines . . .

Self delusion has it's price. In my case that price turned out to be a nasty case of shingles.

I'm in week 4 now. The huge stacks of books beside my chair have gotten shorter and shorter over those weeks. Henry has been beyond sweet about my inability to get any thing done. As a matter of fact, he even went so far as to recruit Jesse to help him wash the sink loads of dishes that had been piling up.  Something that disturbed Jesse so much ("Mom, dad did the dishes with me and it was just, so . . . weird . . .") that he resolved to keep the kitchen clean so it never happened again. (To bad that resolve didn't stick . . .)

I'm on new medication that seems to be helping a lot more and the doctor figures this shouldn't last longer another three weeks. (although he made no promises.)

It's been an interesting, albeit painful, time. I'm being told once again to slow down. Once again I wonder why I seem to be such a slow learner in this area of my life . . .

I don't have the answer. I get the lesson, slow right down and then, before I know it, I'm whizzing along at top speed again.

So, as a way to try and let this lesson sink in a little deeper, and to make a concerted effort to take life at a slower pace and savour each small thing that comes my way, I've signed up for another still photography class with Kim Klassen called My Still Sunday. I was inspired to take it after I read her beautiful blog post here.

I love still photography. Everything about it makes me happy and November 8th can't come soon enough.

In the mean time lesson 20 in my Photoshop Artistry Awake class just went live. I love, love, love this class. Our teacher is an awesome, generous and inspiring man and my classmates are as well. My friend and class accountability partner, Sharon, is the loveliest woman. She encourages me, teaches me and reminds me that things happen in God's time and according to His plan. How wonderful is that?!

The lovely digital art card you see at the top of the page was made for me by Sharon. Isn't it beautiful?
And I wonder . . . am I the only one has so much trouble learning these life lessons? (I sure hope not .) Or do you too find yourself learning the same lessons over and over . . .
I'd love to hear your story.

Something's cooking in the kitchen for back to school week!

Going back to school can be pretty crazy and hectic for everyone, parents and kids alike! All the rushing around making sure lunches are made, back-packs are packed, and kids are ready in time to catch the bus can make even the most efficient and organized super-mom feel a little frazzled. And we can't forget the homework, sports practice, and various other extra curricular activities that happen after school! Who really wants to make a super fancy dinner with all that going on? I know I wouldn't! Which is why we've done a little research and found (and tested!) a quick and easy meal idea!

Scrolling through Pinterest counts as research, right!?

Introducing the Chicken Pot Pie Braid!

What really appealed to me about this recipe is that besides being quick it's also a really good grab-and-go dinner, and it doesn't make a ridiculous amount of dishes dirty so its relatively easy on the clean up! Another added bonus is that there are plenty of short cuts you can take to make it even more hassle free. For example, we used a pre-roasted chicken from the grocery store instead of cooking our own, and we used pre-shredded cheese.

I would add some salt and pepper to the filling when I make this recipe again, but I like my food to be thoroughly seasoned, so that's just my preference!

All in all,  I have to say that the simplicity and tastiness make this Pinterest recipe a winner!

Click the find recipe Here

We'd love to hear what you think of this recipe!

Kim

Relearning an Old Lesson. For the Umpteenth Time.

Things have been pretty busy around my house for the past several months. I'm starting to hate the word busy. I use it like it's a good thing. A good thing that I have no control over . . .

The truth is, I have plenty of control over how many things I say yes too. I also have control over how I choose to manage the things I say yes to as well.

I've been given the opportunity to do some really amazing things this year and I feel beyond blessed by them.

But . . .

Managing those wonderful things doesn't always go the way it should. More often than I care to admit, I allow myself to plunge into a project so wholeheartedly that everything else fades around me and I end up with things like this happening in my home:

My brain starts running faster and faster until I've totally lost my sense of perspective.

I was reading through my blog today, gathering a little info for something I'm working on and I came to this post . . . (click on link to check it out) It was a good wake up call.

Now if I could just figure out how to make this lesson stick!  

Sigh . . .

In the mean time . . . this young man is getting married in three weeks! Whoo Hoo!

Bridal Shower on Monday night. Time to get baking!

Enjoy your weekend.

Counting My Blessings

As I sit at my desk this afternoon cool air drifts through an open patio door, bringing with it a hint of rain.

The sweet smell of a mayday tree perfumes my office.

Joyful shrieks tell of little neighbor girls playing tag next door.

Jada lays in the doorway, the occasional yip and small whine a testament to her dreams.

Butter, soft and yellow waits in the bottom of a mixing bowl, destined to become delicious oatmeal cookies.

Purple pansies bring to mind the carefree days of childhood.

After months of being confined to home and, for the most part, my chair, I've been pushing myself pretty hard these last few months, planting, creating and learning so many new things to bring my dreams to life.

But now. . . for a little while. . .  it's time to rest and count my blessings.

My abundant blessings.

God is good.

If I'm Bald The Next Time You See Me . . .

It's all because of Google Apps!

I know I'm not super tech savvy, but . . . when I go to make a simple change, a change I've made before, it should not have been hijacked by Google Apps in the mean time and changed into something requiring some real computer knowledge.

Without the option of talking to a live person on the phone . . . arghhhh!

Although, I think the guy I found on the Google forum after two hair pulling days is real . . .

He just tells me  to do things I don't quite understand . . .

Sigh.

I've spent the last few months doing a little thinking between feeling sorry for myself and reading every book on my book shelf.

I've been re evaluating.

Dreaming.

Lecturing. (myself)

I'm a follow the rules, do things right, take your responsibilities serious, kind of girl.

While I can't help but make the things I do fun or interesting whenever possible, there is always that niggle of guilt.

Because life is serious business people!

Work before pleasure.

You know . . .

Dishes before seed starting. Laundry before taking 100 pictures of the cake I just baked. Scrubbing the bathroom before hand crafting the new tags for my April sale . . .

Let's face it  though  . . the fun stuff almost always won out. And thus the niggling guilt.

But as I sat for all those months, unable to do any of the important, serious, stuff, I started to realize that it still all got done. Somehow.

That, even though I couldn't do all of those important, serious, things, I was still worthwhile. God loves me for who I am. Not what I do.

My family and friends love me for who I am, not what I do.

I began to wonder if in fact my desire to make things, grow things, photograph things, and . . .  and . . . write about things . . .  was so very strong because  those were the talents God intended me to focus on.

Without that niggle of guilt.

But . . . still scrubbing the bathroom once in a while. ( Because otherwise. . . well . . .  that would just be gross. . .)

So, some changes are coming.

One of which I would have shared with you tomorrow . . .  if Google Apps hadn't stopped me in my tracks . .

I finally gave myself a time out late this afternoon and did this instead . . .

Nothing cheers me up like a fresh, apple struesel coffee cake! Or taking numerous pictures of one . . . 

I'm going to get a good night's sleep and tackle the dragon that is Google Apps, again tomorrow.

It's a good thing I'm too stubborn to give up.

 Now if I could just remember where I put that armor . . . I think I'm gonna need it!

Starting The New Year Out Right.

Normally at this time of year, I go into list making mode.

I start decluttering, reorganizing, menu planning.

The menu planning doesn't usually last past week two but the huge pile of cookbooks I bring home from the library and pile beside my chair help me keep up the delusion that this is the year to get ahead of the whole . . . supper comes every day thing . . .

I do a massive spring cleaning in January because I know come spring I'll be outside and I won't come back in until October sometime. (November if I'm lucky)

I have a list of house projects and a list of garden projects and a list of new things to learn.

Of course I know I'll be lucky to get even a fraction of each  list done but I like feeling as though I know where I'm going and how I plan to get there.

This year, for the first time in my adult life, there are no lists.

I have no idea where I am going or how I might get there.

I don't even pretend to think I know what tomorrow is going to look like.

The thing that's odd about that???

I'm actually kind of relieved.

I am going into this new year with the certain knowledge that each day is a gift.

And what that gift will hold when I unwrap it each day is going to be a surprise . . . and beyond my control.

Does that mean I think it will be a happy, skip with joy from one day to the next, kind of year?

Not at all.

My days right now are a struggle as I work hard on sitting in my chair each day, getting up only to go to the bathroom in hopes that my drain will slow down once and for all.

Yesterday? That worked.

Today? Not so much. It seems my state of mind has something to do with it as well.

Yesterday? Happily hanging out, reading my book and visiting with Ev who dropped by.

29 ml at the 24 hour mark. Yes!! One ml below the target.

Today? Anxious all day, worrying about what a trip to my doctor's will do to my drain's fluid count.
Thankfully I was able to postpone the appointment  Only got up to load the dishwasher and make boxed scalloped potatoes to go with the roast chickens Henry brought home.

57 ml at the 24 hour mark. Nearly double what it needs to be before they will take the drain out.

I need there to be no more than 30 ml in 24 hours two days in a row.

It seems I not only have to sit perfectly still all day, I also have to be happy while doing it!

Am I getting frustrated?

Absolutely. The thing is though, I also know that the drain will come out at the very second it should, according to God's plan. Not a second early or a second late.

God's timing is perfect.

And that's the joy I am bringing into the new year.

Not that everyday is going to be fabulous, or interesting, or even just okay. But everyday will bring anew God's plan for me and I am looking forward to finding out what that plan might be.

It was my hope to blog everyday but until this drain comes out and I have the whole fluid thing under some kind of control, that might not be possible.

So I let go. I choose to meet each day with the steady joy of knowing that God is in control and he has a plan for me and that plan will be worked for my good.

My sister Tamara posted a few verses on Facebook the other day and they struck me as the perfect verses to take into the year ahead. . .

"22 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; 23 they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:22-23

What I can do to ring in the New year???

Take a trip to Home Depot with Holly and brighten the house with these. . .

A Photography Challenge

As a way to improve my photography this year I decided to join Clickin Moms, an awesome photography forum.

One of they creative challenge things they do is to weekly post a list that has a photo prompt for each day with the idea being that these photos help to give you a glimpse into your daily life

I thought this would be fun but the forum challenge is to use an iPhone or android and then posting it to Instagram.

As I have neither iPhone nor android and I am one of likely a small handful of people in the world who doesn't think Instagram is the best thing since sliced bread .  . .

I decided to use whichever camera is handy and just post the pictures to my blog everyday instead.

*hopefully I'm not breaking any forum rules though . . . (Chandra? Any idea?)

Clickin Moms calls this Glimpse for obvious reasons but as I am not really following the rules properly I am just going to call it Daily Life . . .

Today's words are:

Favorite Recipes . . .

Best chocolate treat ever!